EMO Much??

Hey all,

So I know it has been more than 2 months since my last post, but I haven't had the greatest 2 months. Ive had a  break-up, a sulk-up and probably a bitch-up too. My blogs are mainly about bookclub, but this time Im going to do something different. Im going to pour my heart out. I dont like doing it using technology, but my Laptop seems way better than my Cigarette box.

It all stared with the break-up with Robin. Im the kind of person to feel guilty for hurting someone else, even though I know it was for the best, Im gonna learn from it, I know who I am and What I want etc etc, but I still feel like the biggest Douche ever! I never meant to hurt him, but if I never tried then I would have never known. The break-up hit me harder than I thought it would, and thus started my down-ward spiral into an emotional breakdown and self loathing.

Im lonely. Fact. I enjoy my independancy but I constantly feel alone. I just want someone I can share my life with, someone that will get me and accept my issues, insecurities and stupidity. Someone like me. But alas Im drowning in the ocean full of shark. Im trying to accept that it will happen when it happens, but Im just too darn impatient!

Work......sigh......where do I begin. I enjoy what Im doing, but I sometimes wonder if this is what Im meant to do. Im questioning the fact that working with family is such a great idea, because responsibilities that aren't mine, end up being my problem. Im not sure im cut up for it all. I have been promised a promotion for about 2 months now and yet I see nothing coming up. I have too many doubts......I feel like a lost soul in search of true fulfillment but keep coming up empty handed. What do I do? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? Sometimes it just feels like Life keeps kicking me in my imaginary balls........it hurts dammit!

Then, just when I start feeling better, when I think it all will be ok, I get hurt by the people I least expect it from.....or deserve it from......my dearest family! I have now reached the point where I now give up........I have been hurt way too many times byt he people who are supposed to Love me unconditionally. A father who chooses his second wife over his own daughter, and he has admitted this before, that even his dogs over his children. This man alone has caused me so much pain and dissapointment, and yet I still stand by him. For what?? To find the father I always wished I had or to think that he will actually change his ways and look at me with pure Love and admiration. My brother, my own flesh and blood, who used to be one of my best friends, has broken my heart so many times that I have now completly lost faith in the whole idea of family. I sit now, in front of my laptop, declearing to you that I no longer wish to have them in my life as I cannot bear anymore pain. Im raw, my eyes hurt and my heart cannot handle this anymore. I do not ask for your simpathy, all I ask is that you read this with an open mind as I need to get it off my shoulders. Im broken, shattered even. And Im not sure what to do anymore.

I ask that you please dont judge me. Im simply writting down my emotions to my friends who I know will understand me, now matter what, before I explode.

I thank you all so much for just being there, knowing I have people to talk to. And to the one person that I know will understand how I feel and maybe even know myself better than I do. I love you guys!

Feeling deflated, this is me, the damaged, insecure girl, that is still way too cute for her name!
VLOOI*

Meeting? What meeting?

WOW! Thanks to technical errors I'm 2 weeks late on my blog! So embarrassed!!! Sorry peeps! But I'm back and in full force!!

Quelene and I with our Chocolate Martinis

So, LAST Monday, 6 June, was our Bookclub meeting, the second one that I have attended, at Tribecca in Brooklyn. It was great to see all the familiar faces again plus our 2 new members: Quelene my gorgeous friend and Corrie the awesome guy.....the Only guy! Poor guy, but I think he can handle it! Its not easy being around a few females, and all us bookclub girls......Good Luck Corrie!!

Corrie and Melissa

We had so much fun at the Bookclub meeting. I was so happy when all the girls accepted Quelene into Bookclub and Corrie too! Then the books came out.....
They looked Fabulous!! Some of the books, like mine, are falling apart! and some, like Michelle's, are so cute and creative....I think this was the best book choice ever!!! Thanks Jess, or should I thank Michelle?
Anyway, we started signing every one's books, and even got our, gay, waiter to sign! Awesome! And then.... the sunglasses came out as well as Melissa trying to nipple pinch the wall......I blame the cocktails....
And I would just like to point out to Robin that This is Not a Booze Club, we actually read...and stuff.....

Melissa with her sunglasses - showoff!

For some reason Melissa had to pinch the boobie wall! Or should I say try...

No seriously, I love bookclub as we learn about each other and the different genre's we don't usually read.....it's a great experience! For instance, the next book we will be reading is 'Confessions of a shopaholic' by Sophie Kinsella, which might be what I am, but its not the type of book I would usually read, but I'm sure I will enjoy it! I have ordered but am still waiting for it to be delivered. Which brings me to another subject.....waiting....and waiting for books to be delivered! I have ordered a book, from Exclusive Books, about a month ago.....and I'm still waiting for it.....its kinda frustrating! I mean, how long does it take to get a book from the publishers and then send it to the right store? Oh and let me just mention the book was Released 2 months ago but still not yet in stores! Am i the only one having this problem? Is it karma?.....Curse you Murphy!!!

Jess and Terry, striking a pose

So I now have 4 weeks to read the book, which is no problem, before the next Bookclub meeting. And dear Michellie has given us a task....write a short story on a piece of clothing you bought, didn't need but bought anyway, and how it has affected our lives good or bad! No doubt I will be posting my story here on this very blog....so keep your eyes peeled!

My dear book being harassed by every one's lips....except Corrie!

Until next time book lovers,
Marion 'Vlooi' Hart*

Mmm.....

Michelle, Me and Melissa....Mmm....

Enjoying Cocktail Hour!

Ok, so despite the fact that it has been way more than a week, I still carry 'This is not a Book' with me almost everywhere. To friends, braai's, shopping and even to cocktail hour! Note to self: When asking a cute guy to sign my 'guest registry', make sure he knows what the heck your talking about! Poor dude was so confused!
Anyway, Im loving this book way too much - it's become an addiction! So if you dont hear from me for a while I will be at the prestigious book rehad center - Exclusive Books, getting my fix! What can I say, I love Books....and wine - it's the perfect combo!

Miss D (Melissa) signing my book

So thanks to this book, which is not a book, I'm experiencing a lot more in life than I used to. I'm more open to going out and meeting new people. Trying new things, like camping in winter next to a sream, which was not the brightest idea but fun nonetheless.
Ive made some really great friends - who I love dearly! I'm being more courageous; by asking random people to sign my book - Thanks Captain Morgan at the Greek Easy, you rock!
And I'm even learing a lot about myself, this book is really making me think about life and where I want to be and who I'm meant to be; and Ive reached the conclusion that Right now Right here is where I'm meant to be, and I am actually happy! I'm really loving life right now! And it's all thanks to this book and my great new friends! So thanks to you guys; Quelene, Melissa, Michelle, Wayne and Monkey1....you guys rock my world!!!

Me, Wayne and Miss D at the McDonalds Drive-Thru

My book and I enjoying Ribs at Spur

So once again, I'm off to enjoy my book as well as buy some new books...have got to get my fix!
To all who read my blog - Thank you and a Good day to ya!

Marion 'Vlooi' Hart <3

My Dear Brother taking me for a Milkshake at Brewers

And my book decided to tag along...

This is an inconvenience

Im FINALLY back to my blog as I FINALLY got my book. What a mission it was to find it.....Mission Impossible 5....I am now the new Tom Cruise...


What an awesome book....Im loving every moment of it!! I have been doing about 2 or 3 tasks each day including the very first task...'This is an Inconvenience'.....and boy let me tell you........It's not. It's actually fun!
It is so much fun to go everywhere with this book and to hear every comment about it. The funniest are: "That's stupid", well....you clearly have no imagination! Or,"It doesn't make sense", Um Ja...thats kinda the point. Silly silly people....It's ok, you can live in your own little world.

So everywhere I go, the book comes with, and that included going for coffee with one of my best friends Quelene. Lucky for my book, Quelene brought hers as well, so she wasn't alone. And niether were the managers of Mugg & Bean Kolonnade. Even some of the customers joined in to write in our Guest Registry. We sat there for about 4 hours talking the managers and doing some tasks in the book. Imagine sitting in a crowded M&B thinking you are an alien discovering earth and writing about the wierd people of this planet, you can bet we had a laugh. I think the people did actually think we were aliens.... I would say it was a good day!

So inbetween doing some tasks I am taking photo's and documenting my journey, as we all should! And I am super happy that some of the book club members are enjoying their books as well, as I can tell with all the photo's they tag me with on Facebook! We have the best group of Bookclub girls!!!
So...Some of the tasks I have completed so far are:
This is a challenge part 1 & 2
This is a blank space.....it was just too easy!
This is a comment....I left the thought in M&B.....the people didn't get it....oh well
This is a set of directions...did that this morning at work!
This is a wishing well......goodbye penny....Hello wish!!
This is an interview.....Im apparently a very instresting person
And I sing to work everyday....my brother is not impressed! But oh we'll at least he is being somewhat cooperative, which is a good change!

This is a trap......Mmmmm Cupcakes....

And many more, but they will come in time! It's amazing how many responses we get from This is not a Book and our bookclub! Soon you will be seeing the headlines...."La Prologue Book Club takes over the world" Total world domination....Mwhahahahaha.....
Right now, Im off, Ive got to make things disappear....
I will be posting soon so keep your eyes open! Until then...Enjoy your own book adventures <3

Day 1 - 18 April 2011

My first day of Book Club! The book in topic: Eat Pray Love.
Now I have never read the book but I loved the movie. It was inspirational, and it really makes you think about life and where exactly you're going in your life.

But let's start at the beginning. Last week my dear new friend Melissa asked me if I wanted to join her book club. I love reading, so I thought, why not, let's face it...I kind of needed new friends and it will be good for me. Read new books, get others opinions. Good.
But franky I was scared. I didn't know anyone, besides Melissa, and I didn't know what to expect. But for once in my life I was open to something new, change things up a bit. And boy was I surprised! They're girls....like me! All 7 of them!

It was so welcome to know that I could sit there and talk about books and boys and life with girls like me. Girls who are intrested in what I have to say and to hear their opinions on different topics, and to enjoy 'wine' o'clock as Melissa dubbed it. It was fabulous!

Thanks girls...you rock!!

So the next book on the agenda, which we have about 6 weeks to disect, is "This is Not a Book" by Keri Smith. This is bound to be intresting! So watch this space as I try to complete as many tasks in this book as I can before the next Book Club meeting!